Ten Days...

That's all the time that remains until my thesis is due. Those nine days cannot pass quickly enough because I need my head to stop swarming with all these characters and their stories. Those nine days will pass entirely too quickly because I don't know if it will be ready. I mean, of course it will. I know I will put in the time to get my collection of eight stories to the best place I can get them. And I suppose after that, I just have to trust in my readers and my writing. Still, it scares me to be so close to finishing. I want this book to be publishable. I want these stories to be good. Meaningfully good. Beyond my children and the relationships in my life, this is the best thing I have ever created. And I am proud. And tired.

I don't really talk a lot about writing, and what writing means to me. For me, it just is. It's what I do for long hours on the weekend and at five o'clock in the morning and on nights when I can keep my eyes open past nine and after school when I used to work out or run errands. This year of writing and working on my collection of short stories has taught me so much about myself and writing and the world. It excites me and pains me. I see things differently because I write. I read differently. I teach differently. I probably love differently. I think it makes me a better friend, a better parent, a better teacher, and a better wife. Writing often feels like a confrontation, and every time I sit down to write and work through a word, a passage, a page, or a story, I think I grow a little.

I hope one day, my children will have the opportunity to follow their passions and their dreams. I hope they will learn to work hard and go after the success they desire. I hope they will learn to think creatively and deeply. And I hope they will know that success is not achieved in isolation. Without my thesis advisor, my writing teachers, my workshop peers, my readers (especially Shawn, my Dad, Brendan, and Jamie), all the authors I have read and admired, and support from my family and friends, I wouldn't be on the verge of finishing my collection. I completely understand why authors need a full page for acknowledgements. Throughout this whole process (working towards my MFA and writing my thesis), Shawn has been so supportive. He encourages me when I become self-conscious of my work. He watches the kids so I can work. I couldn't do this without him. Thanks, Babe.

When I was a kid, I dreamed about writing a book. Now I'm ten days away. The homestretch.